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Meditation No. 1, Precedent

Locust Eater
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Prelude
i. Nothing heavier weighs upon me than time lost.
i. I mean this: deprive me
i. Forcefully redefine my life and go no length to aid my recovery.
i. Only so long as nothing slips
i. between the cracks of subjective experience.
ii. To lose people and to lose things is an illusion.
ii. There is nothing to be lost.
ii. For all that one receives from life
ii. remains one's own into oblivion.
ii. To not receive... that is true loss.
iii. And so I have lived longer tonight than in entire years passed.
iii. Oh, years of mine grown cold and stiff,
iii. may I grieve life back into you
iii. only so that your loss weigh on me with a human certainty.
iv. Bare reality, indigestible as you are,
iv. I mean this now: Bring all of yourself to me.
iv. Weigh on me like death.
iv. Not a moment of grief will slip by.
iv. I will receive it all.
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